Sunday, September 28, 2014

Tap Tap Tap...

Is this thing still on...?!?!

Yes, I guess it is.  Good.  Since I last left you all, I recovered from my freak toe slamming injury, not even really sure what to call it, and am back out on the roads on my two feet and on two wheels.  I never really left the pool but yes, I am still swimming too.  But this post is going to be a lot less about swim, bike and run and a lot more about the me outside of those activities but always influenced by them.

Throughout the summer and really this whole year I have been doing a lot of introspective thinking.  Mostly about gratitude.  The word that my application for coaching from Jen Harrison centered on and the word that I keep coming back to.  I have so much to be grateful for.  

I had originally thought I would just share that I'm grateful about being a triathlete and that when a door closes on one activity it is great that usually two others are available but that didn't seem like enough.  I was then thinking I would talk about how grateful I am for Jen Harrison and while I absolutely am grateful for the experience of working with her this year, that didn't seem like enough either.  So, instead I'm going to share a few words that came from a timed writing session I did the other day. 

When I sat down at the end of a meditation session (yes, you heard that right, I'll get to that in a minute) to do a timed writing session, the first thought that came into my head was, "letting go."  So I went with this thought and wrote down all the things that came to mind...
perceptions, over 30, woo-woo, holding me back, people, what's not important, uptight, anxiety.  Now, during my session I also elaborated on a few of these like, "over 30."  What that really means is that I am letting go of the fact that even though I'm over 30, it's okay that I don't have X,Y, or Z figured out yet.  I think that coincides with "perceptions"--I perceive that I should be at X place in my life, doing X things and well, earth to Alisa, you are on your own journey.  "Woo-woo" refers to, letting go of my preconceived notions about things like meditation and timed journaling-I'm embracing the woo-woo.  "People" was a hard one for me to really examine.  What I wrote down next to "people" was, "limited time, what's important, who is important, what are my priorities."  I'm a people pleaser by nature and I'm someone who really likes to give a lot in relationships and be as supportive of a friend as I can be, what I've had to realize is that I'm the type of person that really likes to have a few close relationships, rather than a lot of superficial ones.  Hence, to me, what I wrote down reinforced that I am choosey about my friends and that's a good thing.  I want to have people in my life (whether I see them a lot or not) that I can share my journey with.  I recently had a long conversation with a friend that I don't see very often and we talked about this very thing.  Meaningful relationships are so important.

What does all of this have to do with being grateful?  I think what I'm learning is that I am so grateful to be in a place in my life where I am really proud that I'm going through this introspection, embracing the woo-woo and spending time being grateful for the relationships I've built.  

I'm comfortable enough with me to reflect, realign and grow.  

A lot of this may sound trite or cliche but it's real and it's me.