Friday, August 27, 2010

Reflection

After a few weeks of reflection, I have lots of thoughts and things to share.  This is going to be totally random and stream of consciousness, sorry if I lose anyone.  Please leave comments, thoughts, opinions, tell me I’m crazy, whatever…

-Initially I was really disappointed after my race.  It certainly didn’t go as planned and I was just really bummed/indifferent about the whole thing.  This was totally unexpected since after my first marathon I was on cloud 9 for a week!

-I think I was disappointed because I was mad at myself for getting sick!  And, also, because I knew my training was not what it should have been.  Not that I didn’t do what I could but with the bike accident I was unable to do the amount and intensity that I wanted.

-After I got over that initial disappointment and after talking with a couple of my amazing Portland friends (and one amazing blogger that reached out…you know who you are!), I got jazzed about finishing.   70.3 miles is FAR and I WENT the distance.

-During all of the reflection, I did some free writing.  I’d give myself a topic and 3-5 minutes to just write as much as I could.  I learned a lot about my gut feelings.  Some of the free writing topics had nothing to do with triathlons or exercise. 

Some highlights of the free writing:

- I want to stop focusing on what other people think I can or can’t do and focus on what I know I can do!

- I can’t always think that the next accomplishment, job promotion, etc is going to be the end all be all (i.e. the most satisfying and fulfilling thing I’m ever going to do).

- I need to focus on the positives.

- At work it’s all about “the goal” or “purpose” of the project, I can’t think of my life solely in those terms anymore---I am missing out on the little stuff that is fun and exciting but might not have a grand purpose.

- I want to do a century ride in 2011 and work on becoming a stronger cyclist.

- I want to find a 5k swim.

- I love training but don’t always love “racing.”

- I miss running.

- I like being on schedule.

Those are just a few of the most striking (or what I think of as striking) statements from the free writing.

Given my attitude about schedules and my lack of motivation to get back out there, I’ve decided to give myself a couple of weekly goals.  I think this might be a good balance between a full dedicated schedule and loosey goosey no schedule.

Next week goals: Run 4 days, approx 20-25 miles. Swim or Bike 2 days. 1 weights class or 30-day shred video session.

Sometime by the end of the year, I’d like to do the longest swim in my Swim Workouts in a Binder book---I think the longest is 3500 yards.

I think setting weekly goals will be a great way to stay motivated without being held to a specific schedule.  In the next few weeks, I will also be re-visiting my 2010 goals---some of which I think I can cross off and others I know won’t happen this year.

Yay for getting back to positive place and figuring out how to move on after disappointment!