Friday, August 27, 2010

Reflection

After a few weeks of reflection, I have lots of thoughts and things to share.  This is going to be totally random and stream of consciousness, sorry if I lose anyone.  Please leave comments, thoughts, opinions, tell me I’m crazy, whatever…

-Initially I was really disappointed after my race.  It certainly didn’t go as planned and I was just really bummed/indifferent about the whole thing.  This was totally unexpected since after my first marathon I was on cloud 9 for a week!

-I think I was disappointed because I was mad at myself for getting sick!  And, also, because I knew my training was not what it should have been.  Not that I didn’t do what I could but with the bike accident I was unable to do the amount and intensity that I wanted.

-After I got over that initial disappointment and after talking with a couple of my amazing Portland friends (and one amazing blogger that reached out…you know who you are!), I got jazzed about finishing.   70.3 miles is FAR and I WENT the distance.

-During all of the reflection, I did some free writing.  I’d give myself a topic and 3-5 minutes to just write as much as I could.  I learned a lot about my gut feelings.  Some of the free writing topics had nothing to do with triathlons or exercise. 

Some highlights of the free writing:

- I want to stop focusing on what other people think I can or can’t do and focus on what I know I can do!

- I can’t always think that the next accomplishment, job promotion, etc is going to be the end all be all (i.e. the most satisfying and fulfilling thing I’m ever going to do).

- I need to focus on the positives.

- At work it’s all about “the goal” or “purpose” of the project, I can’t think of my life solely in those terms anymore---I am missing out on the little stuff that is fun and exciting but might not have a grand purpose.

- I want to do a century ride in 2011 and work on becoming a stronger cyclist.

- I want to find a 5k swim.

- I love training but don’t always love “racing.”

- I miss running.

- I like being on schedule.

Those are just a few of the most striking (or what I think of as striking) statements from the free writing.

Given my attitude about schedules and my lack of motivation to get back out there, I’ve decided to give myself a couple of weekly goals.  I think this might be a good balance between a full dedicated schedule and loosey goosey no schedule.

Next week goals: Run 4 days, approx 20-25 miles. Swim or Bike 2 days. 1 weights class or 30-day shred video session.

Sometime by the end of the year, I’d like to do the longest swim in my Swim Workouts in a Binder book---I think the longest is 3500 yards.

I think setting weekly goals will be a great way to stay motivated without being held to a specific schedule.  In the next few weeks, I will also be re-visiting my 2010 goals---some of which I think I can cross off and others I know won’t happen this year.

Yay for getting back to positive place and figuring out how to move on after disappointment!

21 comments:

  1. Great post. I definitley understand the dissapointment after a big race like that. You did an amazing job but it's understandable that it didn't live up to your expectations. I agree that focusing on the next big goal is not the way to live your life. You have to embrace every single moment, and live for today. :) I'm so proud of you for all you've accomplished. You are a great athlete, person, and friend. :)

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  2. I think it's important that you've learned these things. I know for me sometimes even blogging lets me get my thoughts out. I'm definitely excited to see how your weekly goals work out. I think after a race it's totally normal to regroup and go for it again in a month or so.

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  3. great post girlie. you learned a lot about yourself throughout the whole process and i think thats the most important goal of all. we aren't professionals, we aren't winning the races, so its important to make sure that we are having fun, doing our best and taking what we can out of every experience. you are coming off of that race stronger and in an awesome place now mentally learning about yourself. keep it up girlie, you are awesome!!

    i want to do a century ride too!!!

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  4. First, of all you kicked butt at Barb's and I am so proud of you!

    Second of all, I am totally with you in needing to realize that the next accomplishment is the end all be all. I remember so many times saying, "if I just get this job, just pass this test, etc" everything in life would be perfect. Well, of course not to far along later there is something else that I think if I have will make everything perfect. Since you are such a driven person I know this is a hard thing to realize since you always have such big goals but what would life be like if we didn't have something to look forward too?

    Third, YES!!!, don't let other people's ideas or views cloud up what you think or what you want to do. You know yourself better than anyone and you know what you can handle. Your true friends will love you know matter what.

    Lastly, you are an amazing person inside and out and I love ya!

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  5. You know I went through this same thing with after IM Kansas and it took me awhile to get back on track. I had to come up with some goals for myself more in the short term so I get back to working out again.

    I think you are on the right track and have made some great strides. You can do whatever you and I know you will. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

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  6. I know exactly what you mean, I think. It's hard to balance expectations with reality in all situations.

    You did a fantastic job and your are a half iron(wo)man! That is (as I believe I've mentioned) AWESOME!

    Let me know your weekly workout schedule, and I'll come along for the ride/run/etc. whenever Damian allows.

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  7. Sometimes you really need to let the accomplishment really sink in.

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  8. Like you said in your last sentence, Yay for getting back to a positive place!!! :)

    I think setting weekly goals is a great idea!

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  9. Nice job looking over your feelings and figuring out what works for you.

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  10. 70.3 is a long way and you got it done even with everything that threw a wrench in the works. As time goes by, the magnitude of the accomplishment will sink in I'm hoping.

    I need a plan to follow too. Otherwise I drift mentally and physically.

    You said it best "Yay for getting back to positive place "

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  11. You are definitely not crazy. I think you did just the right time to work through your disappointment after the race. In fact, I want to file away your strategy for the next time that I am bummed out with my fitness endeavors. Good for you, lady!

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  12. Lovely post and great thoughts. It sounds like you worked things through there and your new strategy is really good!

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  13. Looks like you've done a lot of good thinking and sounds like you have some good plans for the near future. Live it up! Focus on the fun!

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  14. I love this post. i lvoe that you are doing free-writing. i should probably try that. i always have too much crap in my head and i bet it would make me a better sleeper.

    belive me when i say i completely understand your feelings on your race. i feel like we both had very similar experinces (except for the training setback obviously). i'm glad you've come to terms with how awesome you did. your time might not reflect the effort and determination you put in, but we all know what the deal is :)

    i love all your thoughts. esp the one about not caring about what others think of you. i think this is esp hard as an athelte.

    you are an amazing person!!

    p.s. do you know what century you are thinking of doing? is it in CA?

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  15. awesome post girl and I can totally sympathize with your post-race feelings...perhaps that's why my race report hasn't been written yet! lol

    I think it's awesome that you've gone and let you mind wander and wrote it all down. I think I am going to let myself do tha same. I've been a giant stressball post Barb's and I am SO over feeling this way!

    I also would like to do a century ride! Maybe there is one a bunch of us can do together :)

    You're awesome and I am still so happy that we got to experience our 1s 70.3 together! It's definitely a race I won't forget :)

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  16. What a great post, what a great way to find some clarity. I am not a big writer but I may have to try it!!

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  17. I like your blog,very interesting and gives inspiration to anyone who reads it.Like me, I am not a runner though, but reading your posts makes me want to be one. Great post! Goodluck and more power!

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  18. Great, I was entertained by the post. I learn more things on it. Thanks!!!



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  19. I'm late here and didn't read through the other comments, but I like your first few topics on the free writing thing. All of that is stuff that I've struggled with and finally recently decided to take charge of. I think society and our generation make us feel the need to be really goal oriented. I'm finding that the older I get the more I'm able to let some of that go, but not without a struggle. It is weird how we tend to fight against happiness somehow, right? I don't have any answers, but I think you're doing the right thing by analyzing things and continuing to question it all! And PS, you did awesome in your race. I am still kinda pissed about my Boston finish, which is absolutely ridiculous! Realistically I know I did great but deep down I feel like I missed the mark somehow. I'm choosing to ignore those deep down bastard emotions!

    Emily

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  20. Great post! I really like your blog, very interesting and so much to learn with. ~ vibram ~

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